


Of Realizations and Journeys

by nverenders



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: AU, Transgender, trans boy klaus, trans!klaus, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-09 00:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10399707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nverenders/pseuds/nverenders
Summary: Transgender. Now that was a term that sat well with Klaus.





	

**Author's Note:**

> a short fic of just klaus realizing he's trans and being a trans boy. because i haven't seen a single trans boy klaus fic and klaus is definitely a trans boy.  
> feel free to point out any typos or mistakes i wrote this while procrastinating studying and feeling very tired  
> an au p much completely outside the actual story i just wanted to write about trans klaus

When Klaus was a young child, he didn’t really mind most things that started bothering him in his teens. At that age, the concept of gender was foreign to him, and only as he started to grow and have society’s binary ideas pushed upon him did certain things start to feel wrong. Phrases like “sister”, “girl”, and “young woman” in relation to him stopped feeling like a fitting description, even his birth name turned into something he strongly disliked. It was a scary feeling to grow into.

At first, he thought there was something wrong with him. He blamed himself for not fitting into these strict definitions of what a girl or boy should be, and decided, like any good researcher, to find out more about the subject. Fortunately, the Baudelaire library was rich in all kinds of books, and soon Klaus found what he was looking for. These books weren’t particularly helpful as they were a bit outdated, so Klaus visited the large town library and, in an admittedly small and not very well organized LGBT section, found out exactly what he needed to know.

He checked the book out, eyes cast downwards, because he couldn’t help himself but feel ashamed. He noticed the elderly librarian giving him an odd look, but she didn’t say anything. When he got home, he didn’t leave the book out in the open, where anyone could see it. Instead, he hid it under his mattress and hoped no one planned to do laundry anytime soon. He also didn’t read the book when anyone could see him and instead sneaked around to do it in secret. He wasn’t sure why exactly he was so scared someone was going to find it, but it made him feel uneasy and a bit ashamed. He felt he wasn’t ready to share this secret with anyone, not even his sisters or parents.

When Klaus finished the book, it was as if a huge weight has been lifted off his chest. It was written very well, with a list of terms along with their definitions, and even guidelines to help you figure out if you’re trans or not. Transgender. Now that was a term that sat well with Klaus. There was nothing wrong with him, he now knew. He was just transgender, he was just a boy.

 

***

 

Klaus spent an hour and a half going through baby names. At first, it felt as if nothing would fit, as if nothing on that list would feel his. He even tried to think of fictional characters he liked and related to, and even experimented with a few names, saying them in front of the mirror or writing them down. Some sounded better than others, but none of them stuck. And then, one day, just as he thought he’d never find the perfect name, he read the word ‘Klaus’ and thought “That’s it.” It was that simple, he was immediately drawn to it and it fit him like no name or term he’s ever heard before. And just like that, he was Klaus.

 

***

 

“Are you sure you want to cut your hair?” Klaus’s mother asked uncertainly. “It’s very long and it’ll take years to grow back.”

“No, I’m sure,” Klaus said. While his long hair was pretty, it made him feel awful. There wasn’t really a way to explain it well, but he hated seeing how feminine he looked in the mirror and hated how many gender-specific comments he got about it. Perhaps, if he looked differently and more obviously masculine, he wouldn’t mind it, but this way it made him feel dysphoric. Dysphoric was a word he read in many books on transgender topics, and the phenomena gave him lots of trouble and issues regarding the way he looked and acted.

“Okay,” his mother said, not entirely convinced. “But you know, if you decide short hair doesn’t suit you, you won’t be able to get it back.”

“It will be fine,” Klaus said, annoyed. It wasn’t often that he got annoyed with his parents, but he was sick and tired of the way his hair made him look.

That afternoon, his mother took him to the hairdresser’s and after some bickering about how beautiful his hair was like this, she gave in and cut most of it off.

When Klaus looked into the mirror, he felt a lot more satisfied than he did in the morning.

“It’s perfect,” he said and smiled to the two women.

 

***

 

Klaus spent some time testing the waters with his family. He wasn’t sure how subtle he was when he mentioned reading about Marsha P. Johnson and discussing what she did for the LGBT community while trying not to get too emotional. He tried to find out how much his parents knew about the subject and if what they knew was actually correct. It was a stressful task and it made him feel nervous and twitchy, but his parents seem to be alight about it, although their conversations didn’t reveal much.

He decided he was going to talk to Violet first. She was intelligent and although her brain worked in a much different, more inventive way than Klaus’s, he was fairly certain she would be open to learn and understand. He was glad Sunny wasn’t old enough to truly understand society’s lacking definition and truthfully very flawed view of gender as a concept, so coming out to her wasn’t necessary.

One evening, Violet was adding improvements to her invention in the library (a complex machine which handed you books from high shelves you couldn’t reach) and Klaus was sitting in one of the comfortable armchairs, reading. He couldn’t fully concentrate on the words though, and instead thought of how he was going to start this conversation. He decided to wait until Violet was done with her invention as he didn’t want to disturb her while she was working, and it was better if she wasn’t upset during a conversation like this.

He watched as the “hand” of the machine rose from its base and reached on one of the top shelves of the library, fetching a book and dropping it graciously into Violet’s hands. She seemed pleased and turned the machine off, untying her ribbon and letting her hair loose. This was a good sign she was done, and Klaus decided to start talking before she left the room.

“Violet?” he asked, his voice sounding much more anxious than he intended.

“Yes?” she turned around and smiled, still looking pleased about her most recent success.

“Do you know, uh,” he took a short pause, “what the word ‘transgender’ means?”

Violet’s expression got more serious and thoughtful and she studied her sibling for a second.

“Yes, I believe it means a person whose gender doesn’t match their biological sex,” she said.

“Well, no, not really. It’s- it means someone’s gender is different from what they assigned them at birth,” Klaus began and after Violet nodded, he continued. “And doctors assign genders to newborn babies based on physical characteristics and chromosomes. But those things don’t necessarily mean that person is of their assigned gender because it’s a lot more complicated and a lot less binary than that. ‘Biological sex’ doesn’t really exist, at least it shouldn’t be called that, it’s just a group of physical elements society assigns genders to, but the concept of gender is a lot more... mental rather than physical. In fact, it doesn’t really have anything to do with physical appearance; that would be gender expression, I suppose.”

By the end of his short speech, Klaus started to talk a lot faster than he did in the beginning and Violet patiently waited for him to finish.

“Do you understand?” he asked after a few moments, his voice anxious again. He fiddled with his hands in his lap because he was far too nervous to sit still.

“Yes, I think I do,” Violet nodded and gave her sibling a reassuring smile.

“Okay,” Klaus said to himself more than to Violet and took a fairly deep breath. “And what do you think?”

“I think I agree with you and I’m glad you explained this to me,” she said, careful not to say anything that might come across as too pushy or too distant.

“And what would you say if, uhm, I said I was transgender? That I was really a boy and would prefer if you referred to me as ‘he’ rather than ‘she’ and called me Klaus?” he spoke, feeling as if there was a giant rock on the top of his lungs that pushed them down and made his breathing shallow.

“I’d say I would support you no matter what name or pronouns you went by, and no matter what your gender is,” Violet gave her brother and big, reassuring smile and took a step closer to him.

Klaus felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. He knew his sister would react well upon hearing this, but it was still the most frightening and stressful situation he put himself in. He practically jumped out of his chair and hugged his sister tightly. His eyes got slightly damp, but he paid no attention.

“I love you, Klaus,” Violet said, and hugged her brother more tightly.

 

***

 

Violet was of great help. Since none of the Baudelaire children had any men’s clothing, Violet adapted her inventing skills to sawing. She was set on giving Klaus’s current (and some of her older) clothes a more masculine look and, like most of her inventions, it worked perfectly. Klaus’s clothes now had straighter lines and his shirts were designed to hide his chest, which started growing a few years back and gave him heaps of dysphoria. The clothes helped Klaus feel more like himself, but what he really needed was a binder. He still hadn’t spoken to their parents so he couldn’t buy one, and after telling Violet what he’s read about binders and binding, she told him it was too risky to make a handmade binder and he shouldn’t risk serious injuries.

The clothes and short hair made Klaus look more masculine, and sometimes cashiers and taxi drivers referred to him as “sir” or “mister”, which was always good to hear.

 

***

 

When Klaus spoke to his parents, Violet was there for him. She sat next to him on the couch and filled in when Klaus got too nervous to speak or explain. She offered reassurance and helped his parents understand.

After a period of adjustment in which Klaus’s dysphoria worsened, his parents started to get used to having two daughters and a son instead of three daughters. They agreed to buy Klaus a binder and put away a sufficient amount of money to fund his transition in the future, even if they were worried this might have negative effects. They were somewhat iffy around the subject, but they were starting to come around. Klaus reassured them nothing negative would come out of testosterone shots, just “second puberty”, as it was often called, and after some convincing, they believed him.

Sunny was young enough to only ever see Klaus as her brother, and needed no adjustment periods or thorough explanations. Klaus was thankful for this, and the older members of the Baudelaire family raised Sunny without forcing the traditional ideas of gender on her.

School presented a bigger issue, but the psychologist Klaus started speaking to in order to be able to medically transition offered to speak to the staff at the Baudelaire children’s school and even hold a couple of classes for Klaus’s classmates to understand what was going on. Most of his teachers were respectful, although some expressed their disapproval through carefully disguised comments (Klaus saw right through them). The children were different as they weren’t under the obligation of having to stay civil, and some expressed their opinions rather vocally. There weren’t many of those children, most were still at least respectful, but a few is enough to get to someone.

Even though he was not physically harmed, Klaus had to deal with a lot of very rude, disgusting comments from various people on an almost daily basis. Luckily, Violet was always there to keep them away and tell them off, as were some of his closest friends, who offered tremendous support.

 

***

 

When the binder came in the mail, Klaus could feel his heart I his throat.

“It came!” he said excitedly to Violet, bursting into her room. “It’s here, Violet, it just arrived!”

“Try it on!” Violet urged, just as excitedly. One of her favorite things was seeing her brother this happy and excited.

Klaus hurried to his room and opened the small package. After removing his shirt, he slipped it on and almost ran to the mirror. It fit perfectly, and his chest was almost completely flat.

With a huge smile, he went back to his sister’s room.

“It’s perfect,” Violet beamed upon seeing her brother.

 

***

 

Klaus glanced at his ID. After everything, it finally felt official. The testosterone shots and surgeries made him feel better about the way he looked more than he could ever imagine, but something about his ID saying ‘Klaus Baudelaire’ made everything seem final.


End file.
